Photos of Dead Animals

Or Photos of Food. You Tell Me.

Hunting seasons are opening across the country and I have already seen almost every iteration of dead animal photo I could imagine —a spot of blood on a leaf, the ubiquitous reverent hand on fur or feather, a man with his foot on the back of a bear’s neck, grinning, and everything in between. I see this same spectrum of photos every year, so none of them are a surprise to me, but what is surprising is how unpredictable my gut reactions are to them. I would have guessed, that over time, the peaks and valleys of emotion that come with seeing other hunters’ success (other animals’ death), might level out, but I guessed wrong. For some reason, familiarity has not born any kind of comfortability or stasis, but instead, a steepened volatility, tremulous uncertainty and great blasts of scattershot caring.

I wrote about photos of dead animals this week of last year and was met with a wave of response roiling with the same nuance as I carry for the subject myself. I was so relieved to not have been answered with knee-jerk hyperbole and, really, to have not been answered at all —but bolstered by inconclusive thoughts, intimate anecdotes and most of all, questions. Over the past year I have killed animals. I have photographed some of them, but not all. I have shared some of those photos, but not all, and I could not begin to articulate what the deciding factors were in those choices, but I could lay out a litany of questions that could wrap around the world. My own questions haven’t changed much from last year, except for feeling more important. I suppose, as with most important questions, it’s good to ask again and again, because the question may not change, we do. So, I’m sharing below what I wrote last year. It was a post for paid subscribers then, but now is open for all to read and share with others who might be thinking about these things, too, whether they want to or not, as we are exposed to other peoples depictions of life and death on the internet. Whether you are a hunter or not, a meat eater or not, I hope my questions offer you good company in your own.

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Photos of Dead Animals.

Or Photos of Food. You Tell Me.

I was given a roadkill deer - a doe, clipped by a car just before dawn, killed with a pistol to end her suffering, and for some reason, left beside the road in my friend’s orchard. He saw her when he woke up and texted me, asking “What does one do when they find a dead deer on their land?” I ran him through the checklist: Obvious cause of death? Car, hunter, poacher, non-human predator, or illness? Was she bloated? Did she smell? Were there flies? Any visible wounds or impact trauma to the vital organs? Anything leaking out of her anus? Were her eyes full and glassy or were they shrunken and faded? Did her hair pull out easily in big tufts or did it still hang on tight? It had been our coldest night so far and all signs pointed to her being fresh, so I had my friend drag her into the shade and I called to have an officer meet me there to tag her. Long story, short, she was perfect - a little bit of damage high on the rump that was easy to cut around, leaving us with around 45 pounds of meat of a quality you literally cannot buy in stores. I was, and am, really excited about this - I am compelled to talk about it, to write about it, to share and show photos about it - but I haven’t, till right now.

There are people who think sharing photos of dead animals is disrespectful. There are people who think sharing photos of dead animals is gross. There are people who don’t like seeing blood. There are people who don’t like seeing death. I respect all of those people. I often am one of those people. However, the censorship and banning of images of dead animals on social media as of late, I do not respect, and think it only steepens the slippery slope of disconnect we’re on. I got comments recently when I shared images of butchering my rabbits, like - “You don’t have to kill animals - it’s a choice.” The first part of this is incorrect, I do have to kill animals, everyone has to kill animals by default of existing on a planet with a finite amount of space - the second part is correct, it is a choice that I kill them on purpose. There are many hunters who think other hunters shouldn’t share photos of dead animals (especially big ones) because that will upset the non-hunting public and make us look bad. There are other hunters who think we shouldn’t share photos of dead animals (especially big ones) because it glorifies hunting to potential hunters and they don’t want any more of us competing for space in the field. There are some hunters who just believe that hunting is a sacred thing, to be done quietly and privately, except most of them think cave paintings are cool, so... There are some people who think it’s fine to share photos of dead animals as long as it’s “respectfully done”. There are some people who share grip and grins of every animal they kill. I can side, easily, with any of these people reasonably arguing their position. I can also easily make a reasonable argument against them. I’m in the minority, here - most people have their team and wouldn’t think of switching, whereas I can’t seem to make up my mind. Where most people do tend to find common ground, though, is that it’s ok to share photos of dead animals once they’ve been turned into food, which I also agree with, but, when, exactly, is that?

Is it after the body is opened and the organs have been removed? After the hide or feathers have been pulled and the flesh is exposed? After the head is gone and we can forget that it had a face? After it’s cut into muscle groups that we call by food names instead of animal names, and wrapped in the refrigerator case? Is it when the meat is cooked and on the plate? These are not rhetorical questions and I’m not sharing these photos gratuitously to be inflammatory - I really am not sure when an animal becomes food in my own eyes, and I have definitely lost sight of when it does for other people. I know it’s difficult for me to see a deer hanging by her neck, but it’d be more difficult to see her bloating beside the road, unconsidered.

I wasn’t even planning on talking about this today - I was planning on showing you all the beautiful cuts of meat we got from her and telling you about all of the meals I’m planning, but I found myself unsure of where in the process I could or should begin sharing and I was unsure and frustrated, arguing in circles for and against myself, adding and deleting photos that were “too much”, so I just began at the beginning. A deer died. I hope you don’t mind looking at that with me for a moment. Next week, we’ll see her as food.